Tuesday, May 8, 2012
One of the hardest things for the ego to do is to take absolute accountability for its creations. The collective consciousness is steeped in the idea of “victim”. “It’s not my fault” is the mantra of the self-protective ego. It is always someone else’s fault or there was some extenuating circumstance which “caused” the event.
It is a mark of great advancement for the spiritual aspirant who can say to his/her self, “I alone am responsible for this”. The aspirant understands that whatever is being experienced is a result of some thought, word or deed in this or other lifetimes. The aspirant accepts responsibility and looks for the understanding or lesson inherent in the event. Oftentimes, however, there is nothing more to be learned than to understand that it is the individual who determines how events are experienced.
It was some twenty plus years ago when I first began finding myself in front of a panel of my teachers and mentors. I would be shown a thought, word or deed that I had created and asked “Did you (do this thing)?” At first I would begin to side-step the issue, trying to explain away my actions. Every single time I tried to skirt the issue, I would quietly and patiently be asked “Did you (do this)?” I would still try to explain away my actions with “well, you don’t understand, there was this other thing going on” at which point I would quietly and patiently be asked, “Did you (do this)?” I would then next try, “Well, I did my best.” (That had always worked with my parents). My teachers would quietly and patiently ask, “Did you or did you not (do this)?” I struggled for a long time. Finally I understood that this was a “yes or no” question. (It is a little like the pregnancy issue – the answer is either “yes” or “no”. One cannot be “sort of” or “kind of” pregnant.)
As the years have passed, whenever I find myself in front of this Council, I now understand that the “Did you or did you not” question is meant for me to take absolute accountability for every thought, word or deed. Sometimes the view into the looking glass has been uncomfortable, but I have come to understand that its wisdom is far, far reaching. For me, it is the first step in impeccability and the first step of freedom outside of collective consciousness.
Whenever you can, allow yourself the opportunity to take inventory about your day. Look at what you have said, thought and done. Ask yourself if you told the truth. Were you kind? Did you make choices that progress you along your spiritual path? And, when you notice you begin to make excuses for your actions, ask “Did you or did you not (do this)?”