WHY IS CHANGE SO HARD?

Many have already abandoned their New Year’s Resolutions.  Why?  Because change appears to be a hard thing to do.  Nowhere is that more prevalent than in self-development and spiritual development programs.  Or, it could be that it is more obvious because one is paying attention.

 

In the Becoming Your Spiritual Avatar program we begin by establishing what one’s core beliefs are, developing operational characteristics of said beliefs, and then monitoring thoughts, behaviors and emotions that are discordant with those beliefs.  Then, using the Avatar methodology we implement change.

 

Now, in the past there were numerous techniques used to try to figure out “why” one does what one does, i.e. processing, past-life regression, hypnotherapy, etc. etc.  What I witnessed for 30 years was all this did was “tell a story” that let me off the hook.  I did thus and so because my parents did thus and so, or this happened to me therefore I do this, or I’m a Taurus what do you expect.  Then it was easy to settle into “well, that’s just the way I am…..I understand now why I do what I do.”

 

As I have worked with the Avatar aspirants for the past 2 years, as well as the work I have done for myself and in my other counseling, I have found that there are 3 secondary energies at work and all lead to a primary reason why change is so hard.

 

The secondary reasons are:

1)     A deep seated belief in right & wrong.  If I change the way I believe/behave now then everything that I have believed and done must have been wrong, ergo I have been wrong.  And nothing is more abhorrent to the ego than being “wrong”.

2)    An unconscious honoring of an authority figure in one’s life – a parent, grandparent, inspiring teacher, preacher, guru – and a deep seated desire to please them.  This honored authority figure taught me to believe/behave this way and if I change then I will be disrespecting them…..and, Heaven forbid, they will be disappointed in me.

3)    Self-identification with current beliefs/behavior.  If I change the way I believe/behave then I won’t know who I am.  I will feel exposed and vulnerable.

 

All of the above lead to the primary reason why change appears to be so difficult.  And that is,

 

            A refusal to take abject total responsibility for personal choices made.

 

“On no,” you say.  “I most certainly did not choose [this] or [that].  There was nothing I could do about it.”

 

Well, here’s the point at which one must stand up and be accountable.  At EVERY nanosecond of Creation one has the ability to CHOOSE.  And if one does not intentionally choose, one chooses by default.  Although we may not be able to control the circumstance in which we find ourselves, we most assuredly can control our response to that circumstance and how that effects our presentation of self.

 

Human Beings were given the great gift of Free Will, which allows us to exercise the right to choose.  Unfortunately we have become so bogged down in right/wrong, good/bad that we judge our choices, past and present.  Sometimes we stand petrified and make no choice, which is by default a choice in and of itself – we have just acquiesced to what is in place. 

 

We have also developed some sort of belief that we only get “one time at bat”.  That is, we believe once a choice is made it is set in stone.  The most magnificent part of Free Will is that we are given the ability to “choose again”.  As we progress in our spiritual growth and our perspective changes, so too will what is the appropriate choice for us.  We must be willing to utilize this extraordinary gift that has been given us.

 

Further, there seems to be some sort of “finish line” philosophy wherein when I get it “right” then I can quit and rest on my laurels.  I won’t have to keep changing.  Well, I’m sorry to have to tell you this….but Creation never ceases.  Bluntly put, God keeps moving the finish line.  The entire function of the Isness is based on constant creation, which means constant change.  It would probably be a good idea to embrace change as “the new normal” and find the adventure in it all.  See yourself as an explorer of Life, ever seeking what is new and wonderful, allowing that what has been must change in order to discover what will be.

 

The new energies that are here to support us are a great boost to anyone and everyone willing to activate their Free Will and begin change through conscious intention.  I invite you to join with me as we create our lives in alignment with what we profess to believe and live in Love, Peace and Joy.

 

Let’s join together, have a party and go see what’s out there!

 

JOAN