ASSUMPTIONS AND COMMUNICATION

 

I recently saw a posting on Facebook of someone whom I admire admitting to losing the trust of a friend because he did not have all the facts.  First, kudos to him for taking accountability.  Secondly, it reminded me of just how insidious “assumption” can be.

 

Of course “Make No Assumptions” is the Third Agreement.  More importantly, as I tell my clients, “assumption is the mother of all screw-ups” – to paraphrase the old adage. 

 

One falls “victim” to assumption because at some level there is fear that what you “think you know” may actually be true and it is difficult for most to stand in the face of that and take accountability.  So, how does one escape the stranglehold of assumption?  Simple – communication.  And by communication, I mean CLEAR, CONSICE, EXACTING communication.

 

It is important that each party know EXACTLY what the other is thinking and trying to communicate.  For example, if one uses the word “confidential”, it is important to know what your definition of confidential is….do you mean just between the two of us, only your immediate circle, you might tell my friends but not my enemies or only that you won’t post it on social media.  If you tell me you’ll “have it to you by Tuesday”, does that mean you will be handing me a finished project on Tuesday or will I be getting a rough outline of what I might expect in the future.

 

The example I most often use is that of a ball game.  Suppose I call you up and invite you to play ball Saturday at 3pm at the Oak Street Park.  I have you repeat to me...Saturday...3pm…Oak Street Park...ball game... to be sure you understand what I am trying to communicate.  So it is Saturday at 3pm and I’m at Oak Street Park and you arrive suited up to play football.  However, I am suited up to play baseball.  I had “assumed” you know I meant baseball since that was my favorite sport.  You had “assumed” I had meant football since it was football season.

 

It is important to realize that even if you “think” you know all the facts, those “facts” as filtered by your preconceived prejudices and belief systems and may have nothing to do with the prejudices and beliefs of another, ergo one may be talking apples and the other oranges.

 

Language is simply a methodology of trying to communicate thoughts and mental pictures from one human to another.  Without the willingness to be responsible for both the sending and receiving of those thoughts and images miscommunication and assumption is the inevitable outcome.  And then we become prey to the most egregious of all relationship breakdowns….holding another responsible for an agreement they did not make.  (To be addressed later.)

MEMORY

Watch a school of fish or a flock of birds.  Notice how, without any seeming outside influence, they will all turn at one time.  This is an example of the group mind.  It works on a level outside the field of communication as we know it.

 

When Spirit first began to play in human bodies, its individuated parts knew that it was part of the Whole.  Communication was not necessary as everything was shared telepathically.  All information and knowledge was available in the Now, everywhere present at all moments in the time-space continuum. 

 

It was only as the narcissistic ego became self-reverential that words and speech became necessary.  The ability to communicate telepathically was lost and a method of exchanging experiences and ideas was needed.  Words were developed as a way to harness an “energy” of experience or knowledge and exchange it with an-other. 

 

As the developing human ego became more self-absorbed and identified as an individualized separate entity, it also lost the ability to be all-knowing.  Without the ability to draw upon the Isness and “know”, it became necessary to develop a mechanism to retain certain knowledge.  Thus, the memory was created. 

 

Several of you have mentioned that you seem to be “losing your memory”.  The ego, of course, wants this to be a source of drama and concern.  What it also wants is for you not to acknowledge that you have spent years in spiritual pursuit with a goal of learning to live connected with Spirit in the Now.  If you have ever had even one moment of connectedness with Spirit, you will know that there is no need for “stored memory”.  Should a question be posed, the answer is instantaneously available.  (Of course, most often, there is no need for even a question.)

 

Next time you seem to have an experience of “losing your memory”, try getting quiet, become connected with Source and allow the information to flow to you from the Universe.  It is there…..waiting on you.

INTEGRITY, COMPASSION & CONNECTEDNESS

(Note:  This may be a bit rambling and disjointed as this is still quite new and I haven’t “organized” it as yet.  Please bear with me.)

In an intense experience in meditation I was presented with information that appeared as a dream.  It was not a dream, but was shown to me through the “eyes” of a dream.  In it I was participating in a reality/competition show where the Grand Prize was “Enlightenment”.  There were 3 scenarios or tests that I was shown.  I won’t bore you with the details of these scenarios, but do want to share with you the information/wisdom that was given at the end of each scenario.

Also, there were several criteria used in the “judging” (not the right word, but the only English equivalent available to me at this time).  That criteria included Integrity, Compassion and Connectedness to the Higher Self.

The first scenario surrounded Integrity.  Now, I thought I knew what word meant, but I was “shown” that it encompassed far more than I thought.  It wasn’t just “doing what is right” but it included true impeccability (absolutely no exceptions) and “walking the talk” at ALL times and in ALL situations – NO EXCEPTIONS.

The second scenario was Compassion – which was explained to me as co-passion.  It was “do unto others” kicked up a notch.  Instead of just treating others as you wanted to be treated, it was treating others as if they were you and you were them.  Also included in this was not being kinder to others than you are to yourself. (In other words, stop beating yourself up.)

The third scenario was Connectedness to Higher Self.  This was really included in all of the scenarios for the “test” was that on each and every occasion where a choice was to be made, a moment was spent “checking in” with the Higher Self and acting in concert with that wisdom with NO doubt and no questions asked.

These scenarios took a great deal of time and were filled with subtlety and were rich with meaning.  I would not be surprised if I glean more in the coming time, but I wanted to share this with you at this time because it was abundantly clear that this is now what is going on upon this planet.  The opportunity to step up and live in Integrity (in the depth of its meaning), Compassion (succinctly, Behaving As If the God in All Life Matters), and walking hand in hand with your Higher Self.  And the good news is…..the Grand Prize is Enlightenment!

SPIRITUAL EGO

One of the many “tricks” the Ego uses as the spiritual aspirant progresses along his journey is to “go along for the ride”.  This the Ego does by “pretending” that everything the Self is doing is okay and that the Ego approves.  Eventually, however, what sneaks up on the aspirant is the arrival of the Spiritual Ego.

The Spiritual Ego (Ego in disguise) takes on a mantle of false humbleness, false caring and kindness and develops all the mannerism it believes would “show” that it has an enlightened being.  The Spiritual Ego can become a “do-gooder”, not because it truly cares, but because it wants to be known for its deeds.  The Spiritual Ego often volunteers for all sorts of charities and events so it can be seen doing good things, often judging the very things it pretends to be helping.  The Spiritual Ego will help the less fortunate in a false pretense of kindness, all the while feeling “superior” to those in need.  The Spiritual Ego secretly keeps “score” of its advances and takes pride in all of its studies and wisdom.  It compares itself to others in a competitive way, seeing who is “more” and who is “less”, and it grades itself with a spiritual gradation, not unlike a Brown Belt or Black Belt in Martial Arts.  It is always asking of everyone, “Can’t you see how spiritual I am?” And, the Spiritual Ego indulges itself in false humility.  It pretends to be above material concerns, needing nothing, when, in fact, its needs are a hunger which has to be constantly fed.

Occasionally, the Spiritual Ego comes at the aspirant through the back door.  Instead of saying “Good job, you’re really developing spiritually” the Spiritual Ego will say “Who do you think you are?  What makes you think you have anything worth while to say?  What makes you so special?”  Although there is a tendency to think this is low self-esteem, it is quite often a very sneaky way of separating self from Self…the ultimate in denial of the Divine within.  After all, what could be more “special” than to be the worst of the worst.

The antidote to the Spiritual Ego is to take no credit or blame for anything.  For everything that comes into you life, simply say “Thank you, Holy Spirit” and know that all things work for the greater good (whether it seems so at the time or not) and that all that comes to and through you is by the Hand of God through the gift of the Holy Spirit.  Therefore, you understand that you are an instrument of the Divine and your Ego nor your Spiritual Ego has anything to do with anything.

Go forth, become partners with Holy Spirit and see how very many places you can “take” God today.  And, do so in great Joy.

APATHY

The Question:  What does one do if one is stuck in the “nothingness” of apathy?

The Answer:  Nothing…………that’s right, nothing.

Well, first of all, pat yourself on the back.  True apathy is a road sign on the journey of the spiritual aspirant.  To reach a point of true apathy, one has done some serious spiritual work, examining one’s beliefs, deeds and general perspective on anything and everything.  Only when one approaches an understanding that it is the individual who assigns meaning and important to objects and events can the question be raised, “why bother?”…true apathy. 

When one reaches this point in the journey it is important, no, it is imperative that one be as truthful as is possible with self.  Therefore, do not “pretend” anything.  If you find yourself in the state of “nothingness” do not try to “act” your way into another state, and do not deny where you are.  Just explore every thought and feelings you have.

We will be discussing “mechanisms” of energy a bit later, but this it a perfect point of development to just watch and feel what is going on in your mind and in your bodies – mental, emotional, spiritual and physical.  As you attune yourself to letting yourself follow the energy you may be in for a surprise.  You might not be as apathetic as you think you are.  You may very well find pockets of abject anger, fear, frustration, love, attachment, vehement judgments, etc.  And, behind these emotional pockets will be deeply embedded belief systems and thought processes to which you are really, REALLY attached.  As the energy moves around and hits these pockets, you may begin to feel like a spiritual pinball game. 

Apathy is a trick behind which the Spiritual Ego hides.  By convincing you that you “don’t give a damn” the ego can hide just how ferociously it is holding onto limited thought patterns and beliefs.  When such “ah-ha” moments happen, simply, quietly, allow yourself to look at what has been unearthed and as you examine what you find ask yourself, “Is this the truth?  Who says?  What if it is not the truth?  Who would I be if I didn’t believe this?” And then, quietly release the limited thought/belief that has kept you bound and separated from your true Self. 

During this time, focus on practicing the 4^th Agreement – Always Do Your Best.  Apply yourself to each endeavor as best you can, realizing that some days are better than others.  Be as present in the Now as you can; again, some days are better than others.  Refrain from having whatever you are doing “mean” ANYTHING – about you, who or what you are, or about life in general.  By all means, do not assign values of good or bad or best or worst to anything.  Just BE with what you are doing.

Slowly, but surely, you will begin to feel the energies of the Universe move in and through you.  Your so-called apathy will have disappeared when you were not looking and you will find that Joy is the natural state intended for human Beings on the journey back to Source.   

HEY GOD, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

Those engaged in the Avatar program have been working for a few weeks with the concept of “Behaving as if the God in all life matters”*.  In conjunction with this work the following was suggested:

            Think about how you greet someone you know when you see them    unexpectedly on the street – “Hey, Joe, how are you doing?”  Now, take           that a step further.  EVERY time you see ANYONE, anywhere, silently say,          “Hey, God, how are you doing?” 

What was shown to me is that whenever you speak to anyone in any manner, you open up an “energy avenue” between the two of you.  Depending on the emotion and the context of that interaction, that avenue will carry positive or negative energy.  By speaking to the “God within” another, it opens a “God avenue”, if you will, which allows the God energy to flow.

It was explained to me that the more that God energy is activated the more easily the collective consciousness can raise its frequency, and it helps to dispel energies based in fear and accentuates energies based in love.

It was further explained to me that THE most important thing a thinking/conscious person could do would be to be about removing ANY and ALL energies/thoughts/actions based in ANY kind of fear.  I was told it would be more beneficial to mankind than all of the charity programs currently on the planet.

Therefore, please let me encourage to greet everyone (silently, of course) with “Hey God” of “Hi, God”.  I have taken it one step further and borrowing from the beloved Navi, I say, “I see you.”

*Behaving As If The God In All Life Matters is the title of a book by Maechelle Small-Wright, and was a pre-requisite for residency at our Retreat Center.  The phrase has become a “watch word” for my life.

HABITS

Habits – that nemesis of good intentions.  Just what are Habits anyway?  There is a school of thought that calls Habits “shortcuts for the brain”.  I call Habits “automatic pilot settings”.

True, some Habits are instinctual, such as breathing, but most Habits are something we develop along the maturation process.

How does a Habit come to be?  As one begins to learn something new, i.e. driving a car, a musical instrument, a sport, neuro-pathways are developed.  The longer one continues the same activity the more those neuro-pathways are travelled, until they become and old “familiar” routes for the brain – at which time they cease to command your full attention and subside into the recesses of the brain.  Think about learning to drive, for example.  At first there are SO many things to remember….check the mirrors, turn this on, turn that off, look over your shoulder, look left/right, put the car in gear, press the accelerator, etc. etc.  After a bit of driving all of that becomes “second nature”, and one just gets in the car and starts driving…often times multi-tasking along the way.

Often a Habit will begin for a legitimate reason but will continue long after the reason has ceased to be. 

The oldest school of thought spoke about “breaking habits”.  Newer forms of thought realize that a Habit cannot, in fact, be “broken” but must be replaced by a “newer” Habit.  So how is this done?  Simple… you just “do it”.

Once a Habit has been identified as something that is no longer valid or valued in your life, decide what it is that you do want to have in its place.  Then, realizing it will take some “conscious thought” a first, just begin doing what it is you “do” want and give not another bit of thought or energy to what you “do not” want.  As simplistic as this sounds, this is truly the only way to reprogram those automatic synapses of your brain.